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POINTS

Twistys bills itself as the site with “The Most Beautiful Babes in Porn for Over 10 Years.” Perhaps it is. For fans of traditional, Playboy-ish spreads, the Twistys girls will make you feel right at home with professional, well-produced videos and photography of the glamour variety. ...

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  • Pricing: $1.00 (Trial); $19.95 (Monthly)
  • Movie Quality: 720p HD
  • Picture Quality: High Resolution
  • Updated: Daily
  • Exclusive: Yes

Overview

Twistys bills itself as the site with “The Most Beautiful Babes in Porn for Over 10 Years.” Perhaps it is. For fans of traditional, Playboy-ish spreads, the Twistys girls will make you feel right at home with professional, well-produced videos and photography of the glamour variety. It’s a massive site, featuring an incredible 46,000-plus videos of varying lengths and over 1.5 million photos with daily updates. Live shows are also part of the action, and members can take part in polls to influence what kind of activities future shows will feature (within limitations, I assume).

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Twistys is categorized by some as a “vanilla” porn site.  One of the things that this designates is that the action never devolves into extremes.  Anal sex is about as adventurous as it gets here and it isn’t that common.  Nothing wrong with that; not everyone wants to witness a model being subjected to a Guantánamo-like regimen of sexual debasement!

Some like their girls to arrive all shiny and combed and healthy-looking, and leave looking pretty much the same (as opposed to quivering, weeping and suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome, tarred and feathered with candle wax and man goo).  You know, more of a normal sexual experience, maybe even something you can watch with your date without worrying about whether she’ll turn your name in to Homeland Security afterwards.

The Twistys ladies greet you with a smile and a firm handshake.  In fact, before you even meet them, you can view model profiles which are very Playboy-like, listing their hometown, measurements, favorite songs their career aspirations.

Most of these girls aren’t going to spend their lives on the porn industry treadmill, stumbling toward a downward progression from teen amateur to porn queen to MILF to granny sex; some are studying to become veterinarians, or elementary school teachers, or astronauts.

This is refreshing, actually, and very vanilla.  Anyway, the site features lots of solo sessions.  The girls let you watch them walk and talk and undress, then explore their pussies with well-manicured fingers or brightly colored plastic toys.  If this sounds kind of tame, well, it depends on the girl; they’re not reinventing the wheel here, guys, and you can always pretend that you’re lurking outside their bedroom window if you need to give the experience more of an edge.

There are also girl-girl dalliances and tasteful heterosexual couplings, and sometimes the guy gets to bone her in the ass, but not always.  A curious thing:  This is the only major site that doesn’t feature a category search option.  That should tell you something about the range of sexual activity available at Twistys.

In this day and age, it’s refreshing to find that -with the world going to hell in a hand basket, as my dear mother used to say- clean, wholesome pussy is still available on the internet.  There’s plenty of it here, although it’s more like Pussy Lite.  Me?  I like a little smut with my porn.  It’s not bad, but don’t be surprised if, after a half-hour wank session on Twistys, you have to go elsewhere to finish the job.

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